Bobo (The Human)
Bobo picked me up on the outskirts of Birmingham. I introduced myself as Simon, that's a funny name around these parts he told me. He took me down the road and we's gone and had ourselves a lovely little chat. He decided afterwards that I was his friend and that he was going to help me. He offered me money for food, and really wanted to go out of his way to help me. He told me that he never ever learnt to read or write so well (but he could drive a truck just like he's ringin a bell). Despite this he skillfully rendered a sign guaranteed to get me a lift in no time:
Meridan
MISS.
I won't kill you
One of the sweetest guys I ever met.
Then I waited a long long time...
The Comedian
Rob worked at a company providing parts for the Mercedes plant down the road. He was in good humour about the imminent collapse of the American Automotive Industry. I was his first ever hitchhiker. Afterwards he gave me a business card and it turned out he was a comedian in his spare time!
The sun was low, and the cars were driving into it. They couldn't see me so well.
I decided to ask people for a lift at a truck stop. My approach:
"Excuse me sir, I was trying to get a lift into Mississippi. You wouldn't be heading that way would you?"
The 1st man said no I'm not. The 2nd said no I'm not. The 3rd said umm. The gas station employee said you can't do that here son. I started to walk back to the road when the 2nd revealed his fib, and picked me up. Score!
The Lousiana farmers give me the lowdown:
On their African-American brothers
- You don't know what it's like. We're the ones that have to live with 'em.
- You can't educate them black kids, you teach 'em to write their name, and the next day they gone forgot.
- They just sit around and get drunk, and collect their welfare cheques.
- They don't work.
- They go complain about slavery, well if they don't like it why don't they just go on back where they came from.
BUT
- when they get a bit of white blood in'em, well sometimes they can be purty smart
"you mean like Obama?"
- well i don't know about that
and on the president elect
- he's a muslim. And we's be Christians so we don't believe in that. You know when he was gone and sworn in as a senator in Ohio, he wouldn't do it on no bible. He used the Koran. He won't pledge no allegiance to no flag when he's sworn in. No sir.
Sounds like January is going to be even more historic than we thought!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Nice to know about you my friend. Nice to see you are travelling around and getting a good experience on human gender. I could tell your trip is one I wanted to do by myself. Nice to know you are doing it and I can learn from you. Please and be blessed by the luck of the hitchhiker. From the deepest area of my heart I am with you, I will be your traveller companion by reading and feeling your experiences through this blog.
javier swift, that old Spanish boy whom you smoked nice herbs with
"The sun was low, and the cars were driving into it"
most beautiful phrase i heard all month!! i just about nearly gone and stole it for my own!
great to have you out there ambassadoring again for us. i remember more fondly than most memories a certain speech you gave on our behalf, with manu chao, in a little sea port down south somewhere abouts.
wishes and luck!
m
Post a Comment